Menopause
In June I turned 55 years old/young (however you want to look at it). I am in a change in my life and it is called menopause. But for my purposes I wanted to not label it but see it as a life change and a defining time for me.
I was connecting to my womanly parts and was asking why there was tension and struggle in this area and it was all around my ego’s perceptions of what menopause was based on what I had heard in the media, doctors and struggles that women were going through during this life change.
When I watched my ego make up stories, repeat beliefs, show me patterns, recall memories, I realized that it was all keeping me from going through the change with ease and grace. It is a prevention of being in my flow and the flow with the Divine within me. It was a prevention of me being my authentic self.
When I gave myself the sacred time and space to allow myself to feel, watch, witness and reveal, my physical body healed. My change was changed. I grieved the woman in me that was no longer able to have children but I rejoiced in the woman in me that was able to create something other than children….purpose, beauty, play, sensuality, sexuality, inner child connection, inner Goddess connection, music, flow, empathy for self….the list is extensive.
In contemplation the word crone kept coming to me. I thought crone…geez thanks (sarcasm!!). But in a deeper dive past the Wikipedia definition of crone was an archetype of wise, old, healer, laughter, compassion, bawdiness, Goddess, and leader to name a few. She is a woman that has come into her own and isn’t swayed by the patriarchy energy. She is woman in all her power and glory.
I actually thought of myself as a mid centurion on the cusp of my new being. A change to open up to some really productive and purposeful years of my life. In retrospect, I see that my first 1/2 century of life was to experience what I have experienced and now in the second 1/2 century of my life, it is to impart my wisdom to whomever it will assist.
Ever since I was a small child, I always wanted to be older. When I would turn a birthday I was always saying I was a year older. It was like a race to get there….there being old. It was the place that my old soul could be the most comfortable, safe and purposeful. It was really where I am meant to be. It feels like I have come home and now with this change in life, I am in a powerful position to really grow in all aspects of my being and to really fulfill my purpose. To heal those parts of me that are keeping me small. To explode into this limitless human woman with all her power, all parts of her with total acceptance and presence. To get centred, hold centre, to commune with the Divine within me and to really kick it up a notch.
So menopause…thank you. Thank you for what you have shown me. Thank you for your pain. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for speaking to me. Thank you for showing me how to listen. Thank you thank you thank you. I love you and I accept you.
To those that are looking for menopausal relief, dive deep into yourself and look at those wounds, those patterns, those beliefs, those ego driven thoughts, those ancestral teachings and put them under the light. Change your relationship to your wounds, neutralize, detach, feel, and finally accept. Accept the fullness of your humanity in all it’s diverse ways and give yourself the gift of you.
With the deepest of courage, empathy, and love,
Jackie