Unrequited Love

I have been contemplating the meaning of love and I have felt that in relationships it is possible to have unrequited love from family members. Whether you are estranged or not, you are in a healthy relationship or not, I feel that we have to define what love means to us.

For me, and I have spoken about this before, that love is kind, patient, non-judgmental, forgiving and many other gentle and graceful ways. Love does not have to be painful, hurtful, condescending, ignoring, not listening and many other negative qualities.

I find that when we redefine what love means to us, we can change our programming, upbringing, experiences, trauma and hurtful love to a love that is what God has intended for us. That love is unconditional in all our states of being. It isn’t a place where we have to hold on to a love of someone else where they have a grip on your heart or you have a grip on theirs. This isn’t sovereignty or individuality, this is co-dependent behaviour. When we can love ourselves in the deepness of who we are, allow ourselves to be loved by God and to love others as they are, then we are enriched with love in all ways. It’s when we energetically let go of the ties that are binding us to hurtful or painful love is when we are free to love anyone, anytime and in any moment. Love is always there, it isn’t something that you have to hold a death grip on. It is a feeling that can flow.

So if you have this long history with a person that you really really love but the love is painful, and there are a lot of conditions around it such as negative emotions or experiences, expectations, agreements, cords, lack of boundaries, resentments, or Karma, then it is time to forgive, and let go. We need to trust that you are not letting go of unrequited love that they are loving you the only way they know how and when you change the definition of hurtful love to kind love, then you are elevating yourself and others to see what love really is. You are elevating out of the pain to the truth of love.

Healthy love is that you are loving yourself and that person enough to know we all need to take our own spiritual journeys INDEPENDENTLY and that the death grip of painful love is not really love. It’s control, anger, resentment, shoulda coulda woulda’s, sadness, blame, guilt, pain, hurt, cords of projection, all disguised as love. It is a neglect of one’s own inner child. It is what wasn’t received as a child and the lack of responsibility to sourcing it on your own through your spiritual practice. It is putting your pain onto other people, not healing yourself, not being responsible parent to yourself, your kids and your inner child. It is only then when you free yourself to love yourself, receive God’s love and then can you love others in any given moment with acceptance of where they are. Holding on to others through your own hurt and pain is when you cause hurt and pain to others….that isn’t true love. That is enmeshment, entanglement, co-dependent relationship.

Let go and trust that you are suppose to experience love first with yourself, with God/Source and then with others. You can’t depend on other’s love especially if they are in their hurt and pain but you can be free to love them in a moment of thought, in a moment of connection and in prayer. You don’t have to get into their pain. If you are uncorded then it isn’t unrequited love, it’s just sovereign love and maybe they aren’t able to love in this moment here on earth but I have a feeling that in spirit they are pure love and you will experience love with that person on the other side. It’s a matter of how you want to live in this life.

Check in with yourself and ask which chakra is corded and if it is an unhealthy attachment. Chances are you may need to let go of that attachment again and again until you have fully and completely forgiven and let go and come to a great understanding that what you may want in this life isn’t possible because someone else’s path isn’t the same as your’s and they are incapable of the healthy relationship that you had hoped for. So love them in a healthy way. Decord, send love and blessings and recognize that in order to have kind love you may have to let go of the painful love that you were shown in your formative years. Do the work and redefine your relationship with love and with others, it will be less painful that way and more loving kindful love.

In the name of God and by the grace of God, I pray for your healthy love.

Blessings

Jackie