Shame

Shame is a powerful emotion. It can have the subtly of victimization. When you feel into this emotion it holds you down under the water where you are unable to breathe.

But when we recognize it’s disempowering energy then we can choose to make a different choice. Let me explain what I mean.

When you have suffered from abuse or trauma at the hands of an authority figure, a parent, someone you trusted or someone that groomed you, how do you get out of that victimization? You don’t forget that it happened. You don’t turn off your emotions or ignore them. You don’t dismiss the action. You stand in your truth and the truth of what has happened.

The power in changing from the state of shame is to choose the power of your voice. The power of your truth. The power of owning what that process has done to you and to share your experience for others to gain from and help. For you to turn this victim stance to that of advocate. When you empower yourself, you empower others. And to teach the abusers that their actions are wrong and that they are never okay. That they do not have the power over you any longer. That you can rise in your healing and take back your power. Take back your spirit. Take back all of those pieces of you that were held under water. That made you unsafe in the world. That tell you that you can remember what that person has done to you and that it is not okay. That you are not out of your mind. That you aren’t crazy. That they are no longer able to cross those boundaries with you and that your life is better without them.

When you change your emotions to that of anger, then you can get out from the grooming of victimization, the narcissism of someone else’s actions, you can get out from being overpowered to powerful. There is such entanglement that an abuser has over their victims, that it takes time to undo the “grooming” that has occurred. You have to look at those ways that they have kept you down. Challenge those beliefs, change those words, and let go of their energies.

I watched a very powerful interview today with Evan Rachel Wood, abuse victim and Hollywood actress, and she discussed how she is making changes in laws and in the statue of limitation times to extend to account for the suffering and time that it takes a victim to process trauma. She stated that it takes from 7 to 10 years to work through that trauma. What she didn’t say is that sometimes that trauma is within you until you work through it. So if you are a victim of any kind of abuse, if haven’t opened up to your trauma and decided to face it, then you will be sitting in the deep depressive state, or ready to take your life, or not wanting to live. You could be sitting in this for 25 years until something so traumatic happens in your life that you can no longer deal. This is what trauma does to a person’s spirit, emotions, mind and body. There is a natural process of self flogging that a person does to themselves until they hit their rock bottom and decide to live. That is what shame does. It makes you feel as though you are not enough. It makes you not want to live. It makes you want to even kill your own spirit (if you could). The only way to win this war of abuse is to pull up your power each and every day and with the help of God and your own soul. But you need to do the work and you are worth it!

So when you recognize that blanket of shame that is covering you and keeping you small and keeping you in the dark, that is the time to recognize that the blanket was placed on you by someone and maybe by yourself, but you can come out from under the darkness and let the light wash away that trauma. You can let that anger come up and wash away that shame and help you to move you to take action. The action to heal yourself, to heal your spirit, your emotions and your mind.

It isn’t easy, but what kind of life do you want to have? A life in the darkness of despair? Or do you want to be empowered and joyful? This is why I say cars and jewelry can’t make you happy. Because anything from the outside isn’t healing what is actually happening on your insides. Your insides tell you. Your cancer, your IBS, your autoimmune, your physical ailments are telling you that you need to heal. It’s your body’s way of saying to you, are you paying attention to me? And your spirit along with God can heal you. It can heal how you think, your emotional well being and your physical body but you need that connection to your spirit and to that of God. Then you will see that being human doesn’t all have to be bad, dark and terrible. It can be beautiful and heartwarming and joyful but you have to feel it and really move from the trauma to the healing so that you can feel it. That’s your inner work. That is where the healing happens.

I pray for your healing and the help that you need to become whole within you and no matter where you are in your process, just know that you are worthy of love, even when you don’t feel like you are. There are always unconditionally loving beings that will help lift you to the life you were meant to have. But also there are loving beings here on earth that will be there to support you through your journey of healing. So I pray that you find that safe place of healing for yourself and if you are so inclined and this strikes you, please reach out. I would love to be able to support you in your healing journey.

God Bless you.

Jackie Gutknecht