Being

I was blessed to have gotten a text message from a friend that was expressing how she had moved through her fear and had got to riding her horse bareback. She was expressing this to me and it dawned on me yet again that I was in a place of fear with my horse.

My horse is Bilbo. He is a beautiful 11 1/2 year old Fjord cross. He comes from a guest ranch that he started the habit of bucking people and he had only 1 year there and then I bought him. The story of which I have posted in the past :). The story that I was telling myself is that I didn’t know what to do next with him. What what were my next steps? What do we do now? What does he want? What do I want? I flooded myself with questions.

So I thanked my friend for the inspiration of moving through my fear and went out to the field. Now the anxiety hit. What do I do? My mind was so busy that I had to breathe into patience for myself. I stood next to him and I wanted to heal him. I wanted to brush the flies from his face. I wanted to pet him. But what I did was take some time to get quiet. To listen. I breathe. To watch my thoughts. It is an uncomfortable feeling to have to give myself and Bilbo time to just stand there. I was impatient on my legs. It was an old difficult feeling that I have experienced many times before. But when I did a couple of things that he wanted in moving his energy around his body, I was then faced with what do I do now? Again, this annoying question that I keep asking myself. Then I heard just Be. Being. It is such a foreign concept to just Be. What does it really mean? There goes my mind again. I was able to stand there and breathe. Watch my thoughts and not have to do anything. In this magical moment of standing with Bilbo. I could see that even the flies don’t totally bother him. When they do he shakes his head but he was in a flow of his own grace. He was showing me how to Be.

When this miracle of Being happened I was totally present. I was feeling my energy body and it was traveling down my legs and naturally grounding me to a deeper depth of grounding. It is just like my soul knows what I needed. I slowed down to a pace that was even slower than the flies. It was a current of energy that I tapped into that made me feel safe. It made me feel connected. It made me feel more sure on my feet. It was the energy of moving down my legs at a slow rate that filled me up solid like a rock. I was stable as a mountain. It was a feeling of letting go of whatever was happening around me. To just Be beside Bilbo and close my eyes and not worry or think about a thing. To be totally present and in the moment. To know and to not know. It was a feeling of trust. If I didn’t know what I was suppose to do in this moment, I knew that it was going to come, at some point, when we were ready. It was a comfort of knowing that I didn’t have to know. But I did know that I was to just Be. That is what was important.

As anxiety has appeared so often in my life, I can see how my soul, in it’s wisdom, has brought me to the this farm. Has brought Bilbo to me. Who has bought me all my loved ones in my family and especially was divinely guiding me in meeting my husband. This is the soul at work, my soul, and the deeper that I trust myself and my soul, the more content and happy that I become. Because in that trusting myself deeper I trust God/Universe/Source deeper. I know what I know and what I don’t know I trust will come to me and forget the rest.

So thank you for my friend to start me on looking at my fear. For when I stepped through it, I was able to see how important it is to just Be. And should that fear reappear, then I will work through it deeper with my next visit with Bilbo. There will be wisdom that comes in our next steps as long as I trust myself, my God and Bilbo and that place of contentment isn’t really waiting, it’s trusting.

I share this with the intention to inspire those that are working through anxiety and how to take the next steps in their lives. Get to a place of working with your soul, Source, Angels, Ascended Masters, Guides or whoever to learn, experience, take brave steps and move through your stuff so that you can have a fulfilled and happy life.

May you be blessed in your journey of Being.

Jackie