Defeatism

I am speaking to the wounded masculine and in the control of others.

Potentially in our lineage we have learned to buy into the premise that “nothing you ever do is right”. This belief can lead to the feeling of if “nothing I ever do is right, then why do anything?” It freezes us. It stops us in our tracks. I keeps us from our true authentic Selves.

In working within the context of ancestral patterns and belief systems, it is critical that we recognize the beliefs that have been potentially passed down from generation to generation. These seemingly “harmless” behaviours are actually more harmful for the sensitive or empath.

When we are children, we are sponges. We are learning all there is to know and we learn it from the environment that we were raised in. If our parents or caregivers came from a difficult upbringing, it is more than likely you will get the feeling and sense of it all whether or not you have been told. You will know as you explore your inner world and you will feel it. You could have unconsciously absorbed it or it was taught to you.

Also know that if your parents had this in them, it’s in you and it was potentially in their parents. This isn’t a place to blame, but it is a place to understand how when you hold it in love and compassion that you can heal from this.

Now I am not saying this is right or this is wrong. What I am saying is what are the chances that your parents were really really aware? Probably not likely. We are all just doing the best we can and passing down “program” after “program”. For me it is interesting to see what my “programming” is and to determine if it is working for me or not. As far as doing things it lead me to a place of perfectionism. I had to do it perfect so that I would not get scolded. But another tactic was if I didn’t do anything, then there was no chance of screwing it up and I didn’t have to feel the anger and disappointment from someone else.

This is an entanglement. If you are told or asked to do something, you can have standards but if they are always unreachable, why would you even try. It’s defeatism. You are held under. You are held at your lowest point and you don’t even want to try. You are afraid to disappoint. You are afraid to make a mistake. You are afraid to fail. You are a victim. It’s really no way to live.

In all likelihood if you are reading this, then you may have a feeling of always being defeated. And that can translate in a lot of ways. Maybe you never win. Maybe you can’t get traction in your life. Maybe you can move your body. Maybe you always feel victimized. Maybe you can’t follow a simple diet. Maybe you can’t…..just can’t. Maybe you take it out on others. If you are always saying “I can’t”, explore where that came from. However, that looks for you, it is really really important to heal that energy within you so that you can lead the life that we are meant to lead and if you have kids, you can give them the fighting chance they need to succeed.

The great thing about it is if you can see it from a neutral detached point of view, then you can get out of the feeling of victimization, feel into it and then move it. The most important thing is that you feel it.

This is why emotions are so important. They tell us where we are out of balance. They tell us where we need healing. They tell us our boundaries. They tell us what to believe and what not to believe. But we need to feel. If we don’t feel them, then we just by-pass them, we don’t ever become embodied, we don’t get strong boundaries, and we can’t move to the life that we want or that was designed for us before we came down to this earth.

So my prayer for you is to see your defeatism, your perfectionism, your emotions, your whole self and manage those in correlation to your heart and God. When you do that, you will find your power and the place within you where you can, you will and you do. You are worth every moment of introspection and change but you have to invest in yourself. It is the most important thing in life. Think about it. How do you want to be on your deathbed? Regretful or thankful to have lived life to the fullest without the baggage of defeatism.

Sending you the courage and strength to live your life and beat the defeatism with the power of love.

God Bless you.

Jackie Gutknecht