Parenting

As we learn to reparent our little selves in our spiritual practice, we learn how to parent our children.

Emotional reparenting or parenting is critical in showing us and our children that emotions are a normal part of the human experience. When we feel our feelings when we are sad, angry, depressed, anxious, we leave room to feel the higher vibrational emotions of joy, happiness, peace, comfort.

When we suppress our emotions, we are leading ourselves down the path of dis-ease. If we are suppressing anger, think about how that sits in our bodies? The energy has to go somewhere. If you check in with your little self, then you will always know how he/she or they are feeling and you can ask what they need. When you do that for yourself, you can do it for your actual children. The respect that you garner for yourself is translated to the respect for your children. It is a place of genuine connectivity, loving relationship, respect, acceptance, non-judgment and most of all this a place where you can learn boundaries.

Just as we are teaching our children or inner child to feel their emotions, we are also teaching each other respectful boundaries. We can have a space for our children to express their emotions with their uniqueness and not judge them for it. We can hold the boundary that these are their emotions and they are able to express them as they please. It could be in anger, in beating or throwing or tossing or swearing or whatever but it isn’t your choice or guidance that is needed in this situation. It is you the provider of space, that allows the child to have their own independent experience without interruption or judgement. If we could all do that for ourselves, then we can certainly do that for others. It is when we give ourselves that space to feel our emotions that we have actually have the ability to give others the same.

In our culture of being non-emotional, we are loosing connection to ourselves and we are becoming heartless. It is a place of unfeeling and dis-ease. As we stuff our feelings with food or shopping or external things, we are loosing the connection with ourselves internally.

As a parent, our responsibility is to raise our inner child, and our children to be balanced mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. And although we may not have received adequate training ourselves, it is still our responsibility to learn that on our own and be responsible for how we are raising our children and even how we are honouring our little selves.

Look, I don’t have kids, but I do have animals and an inner child and it translates. How I treat the animals in my life matters to me. It matters that they have emotional range and that I am able to interpret that range as best as I am able and to be the parent to them that they need so that I may protect and bring them along as I do for myself. It isn’t rocket science…and it will be different for each and every one of us. Don’t you think it is more important to turn inwards to your inner self than to connect to that video game or that shopping channel or taking that drink. Our additions are telling us what we are missing on the inside. They are what we are using on the outside to give us “comfort” on the inside. So how you are comforting your little one today? Because sitting them in front of the TV is not a comfort, it’s a substitute parent for lack of responsibility. I know this because I did this. I didn’t take responsibility for myself and the difference I feel from then to today is leaps and bounds better. It’s a process. But one that you are worth giving your time to. Invest in yourself for when you do, it will translate to those around you.

It will create connection, healthy relationships, more joy, love and happiness, boundaries, respect, acceptance, and flow. Ask yourself this question - How are we relating to our inner child? Heck ask yourself, What are we in relationship to anything in our lives? What is our relationship to food? To our parents? To our children? To our animals? To our planet? To our spirituality? To our bodies? To our minds? It is a great question!!!!

This question opened up a lot for me. It showed me how I was in relationship to the outside world and the inside world and all the other places in between.

If you start there and don’t like the answer, it is in your capacity to change it. Take 100% responsibility for yourself and change it. Learn to trust yourself. Learn to relate to your fear in a way that is not fight, flight or freeze. Talk to it. Befriend it. Cuddle it. Give it space. Whatever you do, do something to move forward. Because we all are capable we just need to learn how to turn inwards.

Here is to praying that you turn inwards, find the courage to open yourself up from the inside and to create a life for you that will definitely provide you more joy and happiness and less dis-ease in your life.

Blessings to you.

Jackie Gutknecht