The Mind
Since my awakening, I have been working on my mind. I had a mind that is very strong and not in a positive way. I have had a mind that can be quite cunning, manipulating, controlling, overpowering, righteous and fearful. But what I have learned is that with God all things are possible. And that negativity of the mind has changed and I am changing it to a positive mindset. Mind you…pun intended, that not all thoughts are golden…yet. As I watch these thoughts change, I have an active roll in changing them. There was a time that I didn’t believe that I could change them. I thought that I was stuck in this groove of operating in a way that was always ego driven.
But as I practice changing my thoughts, watching my thoughts, getting real with myself and telling myself the truth, not lying to myself, letting go of not being authentic and congruent with my thoughts and actions, I called myself out on my behaviours. I changed all these patterns, behaviours, ancestral/lineage mind games or mind survival ways. I realized that they were all false. Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real. The ego works like that. It wasn’t until I started to love my mind and give it time and permission to change to positive thoughts that I realized that I wasn’t stuck at all. I actually had a choice with my own mind. I was and am becoming a Master of my Mind.
Is it perfect. Nope. But when you come from a place of depression, you need to give yourself time to physically, mentally, emotional and spiritually change those thoughts. And the best way that I know how to do that is with Spirit or God. I pray all the time to change those thoughts and it is now happening. I can be fully aware in a moment to change a thought if I am judging or angry or whatever and hold myself in deeper compassion.
I have had to do this because, as I manifest my reality, it can be a saboteur. It can be my enemy. It can put me into worry, mistrust of self, doubt and all these things that keep me from serving my purpose. It also keeps me from having joy or healing my body or working through my emotions. When we do our emotional work, it heals our mind.
I think that manipulation and control are common operating modes that we take when we haven’t learned to work through our stuff to be authentic. I say that because this has been my experience. If you read any books from Gabor Mate, he will tell you how he healed his traumatized brain. I too have healed my traumatized brain and continue to do so by giving it loving kind attention and reassurance. It’s like an inner dialogue that changes the way that we operate in the world.
Manipulation and control are childlike qualities that we have learned or adopted when we didn’t get what we needed as children. It is a coping mechanism for the lack in our lives. When we recognize the things that we didn’t receive in our lives like peace, contentment, comfort, love, listening, joy, nurturing, connection all those things that we now have empowered ourselves to give to ourselves, then the manipulation, control, fear and overpowering, even victimhood, all drop to the wayside. We then become authentic, we then learn to manifest our lives, we learn to work with life instead of pushing that proverbial rope up the hill.
The things that I had to do was let go of lying to myself. I had to let go of confusing myself. I had to take responsibility for my actions and the karma I was creating. I really really had to get really real with myself. No more childlike games. It takes work and it takes people that are more advanced on the spiritual path that can help you get there. We are all human and we all make mistakes but I want to say to you is that this is the part where we are human and those mistakes are a way to check in with yourself. Problem solve the situation. Forgive yourself. Apologize to others. Let it go and move on. No one comes out of this life without making mistakes. This is really hard for a perfectionist to learn and let go of, especially if you were defined by the actions you took and reprimanded or constantly corrected for not doing something perfectly to someone else’s standards. It’s like…..make your own standards. More realistic standards. Simple less complicated and gentle standards. Don’t sacrifice integrity but give yourself a break, lick the wounds and pick yourself up. Be gentle, be gentle, be gentle and when you forget to be gentle because you are so used to being hard on yourself, try to remember to be gentle. Go back into gentleness, it will always serve you. Even when you think you haven’t made progress, think about where you were 1 year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago. It’s all progress and let up on yourself. It will come.
Change your mind. You have the ability to do it, you just need to believe.
Spiritual Medicine - Daily Dose